Jackpot in a Dumpster
Friday night, I drop by the frat, and I notice that someone had dumped a washing machine on top of the dumpster in the driveway. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I decided that I’d throw it in the truck and take it in for steel in the morning. I roll it off the dumpster, and when it hits the driveway, it gets a bit smashed and a few quarters roll out. Turns out it’s a coin-operated washing machine. I get the crowbar and a hammer out of the truck, and I start breaking into it. About five minutes into this, Liggett shows up and laughs. He tells his brother and Thomas, who also find it amusing that I’d go to the bother of breaking into it for the change or hauling it off for scrap. At this point, I’ve gotten about $2 out of the thing, but I’m having a pretty good time breaking into it, so it’s cool. Alexi shows up about 5 minutes later, and then Tony. I’ve got a decent pile of quarters at this point, but shaking them out of the cashbox slot is really slow going, so Tony gets out the angle grinder. Unfortunatly, both of his batteries are dead, so he uses his sledgehammer to smash the front of the box in. A good sized pile of quarters come out, and (not having a lot of experience judging the value of a pile of change) we figure I’ve got about $25 in quarters. Today, I bring in the washer to Marco at lunch, and I got $20 for it and an old grill I’d found. Not too bad. Next I took the quarters to the bank, where I was a bit suprised to find that I’d gotten $127.27 in change. Not too bad for a half-hour of work. So next time you decide to throw out a coin-operated appliance, you might want to empty it first.
Indiana sucks.
So it’s allergy season again, and I need to get some Sudafed. Indiana has this new law designed to help counter the meth epedemic. Basically, they make you present your driver’s license and sign some forms so you can’t buy a ton of psuedophedrine. I figure it’s no big deal; I’ve got a driver’s license, and I’m just buying one box. Unfortunately, I decided to do my grocery shopping at night and the Wal-Mart pharmacy was closed. Since you have to scan your license at the pharmacy to get allergy medicine, I was out of luck. The sniffles were still there though, so I set off down the road to the CVS. The fellow behind the counter at CVS was this old guy. I tell him what I want, and give him my license. Since I’m from Illinois, he looks at it really carefully and looks at me. He then spends about 5 minutes typing some shit into the computer. After this, he goes to scan the barcode on my license and can’t seem to get it to work. He goes in the back and sprays it with something to clean it, but it still won’t scan. He keeps telling me that “this doesn’t look like a barcode to me.” I tell him I have no idea what it should look like. Finally, he tells me he can’t sell me allergy medication because I’m from out of state. I ask him what I should do and he tells me how to get to Walgreen’s. So I set off down the road to the Walgreen’s. The pharmacist at the Walgreen’s is a total freak. He looks like some kind of homeless guy, has long dyed red hair, and has it gelled and combed back. I go up to the counter and ask for some 12 hour allergy medicine, to which he responds “that’s what the people who make meth always want to buy.” Not wanting to cause any trouble, I tell him I’ll take the 4 hour one instead. I tell him I’m not a methhead, and he starts muttering about the kind of people he has to deal with at night or something. I buy it with a credit card so as not to arouse any more suspicions. 3 stores, an hour, and $4, and I finally have allergy medicine. Thanks, Indiana.
paying bills sucks
well…as most of you know, i do not currently have a job while I attend school. There are a few reasons for this. 1.) Hard to schedule work around my class schedule 2.) The only place I seem to be able to get a job is fast food….i worked at Jimmy John’s for 1 month….and that was my first and last fast food job. Even though I don’t currently have an income, Insight, and the town of Normal, IL still find it necessary to send my cable, electric, and water bills (the fuck is up with that, right?) O…and I have to eat so I spend about $200 a month on groceries (i’m a growing boy) So basically what this means is that every transaction that shows up on my bank statement starts with a date and this word “Withdrawal”. Basically money>grr. Earlier this summer, my grandparents sold the bowling alley they owned for almost 30 years. My grandparents got their money and wanted to give each of their 4 grandsons (this includes me) an undisclosed amount of money. This made me very happy and able to not have a job during this school year….however I’ve come to realize that when you have a bunch of money sitting around, you tend to spend, spend, spend until you realize that you have burned up a huge chunk of your grandparents generosity…yea…i actually suck at life. This has forced me to take action. I applied for 2 jobs thru the ISU job listings website and never got a call back (pwnt). I guess since my resume states that I’ve roofed for the last 4 years, this makes me incompetent and not able to understand the dewey decimal system (yea, that’s right…the library turned me down….o and they turned me down last year too…fuck). Seeing as Milner Library is out to financially wreck me, I applied for a job that better suits my resume. It was a job at MLP Building Products, INC. (or something along those lines). The job requirements was being able to lift building supplies up to 100lbs. in a warehouse and potentially drive some supplies to job sites. Ok….sweet…i can do this. Clean driving record, no tickets, and I can lift heavy shit. I even make sure that I tell the guy I have roofed for 4 years and carry 70-80lb. bundles of shingles up ladders. Apparently…I am incompetent for this job as well as i did not get a call back and applied to the posting 2 hours after it was posted. Whoever said the early bird gets the worm can go fuck themself. Anyways…my financial situation hasn’t been the best and i just paid another cable bill and i owe another $60 for the electric bill we just got. But as of this weekend, things are looking up. I cashed my two checks and finally got my money from the last week of work during winter break. This gives me a solid $470. Also, today I won one of my brackets in the bowling tournament…so i made $15 there. Plus my dad just told me I am getting like $450 back from taxes. So now I am up to about $935…..woooot. Also, since I made the first qualifying cut for this tournament, I will get my entry fee back of $55. If I make it past the second cut tomorrow, I will be in the profit. Also, if i can finish in the top 5, I will get probably at least a couple hundo back. I’m assuming first place will take around $400 back. Wish me luck guys. Also, what in the fuck is up with the Rantoul Taco Bell? I mean, i love Taco Bell, it is delicious and i never have any problems with them. However, I went there on friday for lunch and ordered my usual number 6 which consists of a soft shell taco and 2 gorditas. i ask for fire sauce and u know how many packets they give me? FUCKING 2….2 GODDAMN PACKETS of fire sauce. The last i checked, a number 6 came with 3 FUCKING TACOS. Now, for those of you who aren’t math majors (bc obviously this is a tough one to figure out) 2 packets of fire sauce is not enough for 3 tacos. But then again, what do i know? I’m to dumb to get hired anywhere, therefore taco bell employees probably know more than me……..
3.) I usually take a solid 3-4 hour nap everyday, and frankly, work would seriously cut into that time which i find to be vital to my survival.